Dear reader,

From time to time, people say to me:
“I keep hearing the word trauma-sensitive… but what does it actually mean?”

And I understand that question deeply. Because the more often a word is used, the easier it becomes to forget what it truly asks of us.

For me, trauma sensitivity isn’t a technique.
It’s not a quick skill to add to your toolkit.
It’s a way of being — a posture of the heart and nervous system.
A lens that invites us to meet one another differently. Gently. Honestly. And with presence.

It begins with one essential shift:
From: “What’s wrong with you?”
To: “What happened to you?”

And maybe even more deeply:
“What do you need to feel safe enough… to be here, just as you are?”

The art of slowing down

Trauma sensitivity invites us to slow down — not just in what we do, but in how we are.
To stay present, even when things feel uncertain.
To listen with the whole body.
To wait, when waiting is needed.

This isn’t always easy — especially in a world that rewards speed, control, and fixing things. But in the slowing down, something sacred happens. Space opens. Tension softens. A person begins to meet themselves again.

“Not to fix, but to witness. Not to act, but to be with.”

No fixing, no judgment

I’ve learned that we often want to help others by doing something: offering advice, solving the problem, making it “better.”
But trauma-sensitive presence often asks the opposite of us.

Not to fix, but to witness.
Not to act, but to be with.
Not to fill, but to hold space.

This can feel like doing nothing — and yet, it is everything. Because it’s in that still, non-judgmental space that healing becomes possible.

An invitation to be human

When we practice trauma sensitivity, we choose to meet people — and ourselves — with compassion, not correction.
We practize looking with soft eyes.
We accept what is here, without rushing it away.

And maybe, when we keep practizing — gently, imperfectly, again and again — we begin to reshape not only our relationships, but the world itself.

A world where people feel safe to show up as they are.
A world that knows how to hold.
A world that doesn’t ask us to be “fixed” in order to be worthy of love.

“Trauma sensitivity is not a method — it’s an invitation to be fully human. Together.”

Esther van der Sande